Buster's Diaries: The True Story of a Dog and His Man - Softcover

December 17, 1995-London

I think I shall like it here. There are no other dogs, but there is a Man who would like to be one. When I arrived he got down on his hands and knees, and although he told me to stop licking his face, I knew he didn't mean it. Tomorrow I shall try chewing his ear. Thanks to my dominant personality and animal cunning, I may well become leader of this pack. And even if I don't, there will be real human beings to talk to me.

Everybody was very good about the vomit. The Man helped clean out the animal ambulance (a broken-down old van) and told the driver that I must suffer from motion sickness as I didn't seem to be the nervous type. To be honest, I was terrified. Nobody had told me where I was going or what sort of people were going to look after me. Although I look like one of those fighting dogs in the Sunday newspapers' color magazines, I often feel very insecure. I certainly don't see myself doing ten rounds with a rottweiler. Whenever a skinhead came into the dogs' home, I sat at the back of my kennel and tried to look like a Pekinese.

The dogs' home sent the Man my blue plastic bed-which was wrong, since it gave a false impression. I am absolutely house-trained. The Man had a new bed ready for me. It is woolly with fake sheepskin on the bottom and there is a tartan rug spread over it. I got in straight away. The only thing wrong with the bed is that it has no smell. I shall put that right in the next day or two.

The Man is very inconsistent-the very worst thing possible if he wants a proper relationship with me. As soon as I curled up in a ball, he forgot all about me looking tough and self-confident and said, "He really looks a friendly little chap. I can't believe that anyone was frightened of adopting him. He doesn't look a bit fierce." I almost bit him there and then. I look very fierce indeed standing up-especially when my mouth is open. He will find out in the morning.

He is the talkative type, which is exactly what I wanted. Before I went to sleep he told me that he's signed a form promising not to tie me up, lock me out or give me away. If I behave badly and he doesn't want me any more, I have to go back to the dogs' home. Assuming the food is OK, I shall make myself irresistible. It will not be difficult.

Dog-lovers who want to see the world from a canine perspective will be immediately entertained by BUSTER'S DIARY. Told in short, dated entries, the material could be choppy, but the limited themes in a dog's life help the listener keep track of events, and the brief entries seem in keeping with the short attention span of a dog. Others will enjoy Buster's musings once they get used to the dog's ability to dictate his thoughts to his owner, (former Minister of Parliament and British journalist Hattersly). Hattersly's raspy and breathy voice adds an interesting depth to the performance, and over time one begins to believe that the voice is that of Buster. J.C.G. © AudioFile 2001, Portland, Maine-- Copyright © AudioFile, Portland, Maine